Capisce
by Morii-chan
Summary: Rey had terrible luck, but this time she'd get it right. Married in a church, in a dress, to someone she could stand might finally change her luck. Or, it might not. AU Moonstruck Parody


A/N: I own nothing, certainly not Star Wars and/or Moonstruck. This is a parody and love song for my favorite Nick Cage movie.

 _ **Capisce**_

* * *

"Unkar, you need to save your receipts. This is a complete mess" Unkar Plutt preened in the mirror, oblivious to Rey's complaints.

"I make 'em look better dead than they did alive, I'm a goddamn miracle worker."

"You may work miracles, but this account book is a tragedy." Rey gathered her materials, having completed hours of work on the undertaker's books. "I do this for you this month as a favor to the miracle you worked on my Finn years ago, but I swear if you don't start tracking your dry cleaning expenses with better dates I'll come for you, Plutt. And you've got butter on your tie."

Rey sashayed down the street, popping into Maz's deli to grab their deposit. She watched as Chewy wrapped bouquets of roses, humming to himself.

"It's an awful expense for something that'll die in a week."

Chewy eyed her, his mouth twisted in a rueful smile. "I'm lucky not all my customers are like you, Rey."

She waved her hand at him in dismissal. "You don't know what you're talkin' about, I love flowers."

Chewy chuckled, presenting the soft flower petals in a flamboyant twist of the wrist. "For you, madam." Rey held the stem, burying her nose in the aromatic bud with quiet relish. She turned for the door, and head back out into the afternoon with a parting "Thanks, Chewy."

That night, Rey sat with Luke at their favorite restaurant. Yoda, the head of staff, waited anxiously just out of sight with the desert cart. Their table was expertly placed in the far corner, giving the couple ample space to watch their fellow diners enjoying the standard fare. Food here at Coruscanti was respectable for the price, traditional to a fault. Luke watched the young woman across from him, feeling anxiety prickle the his hairline. God forbid what would happen when he left for Naboo to visit Leia, but he would never have a chance to secure a woman of such quality again.

He raised his hand, gesturing to Yoda to bring the desert cart. They elderly man wheezed as he pushed the laden trays over to the small table, resigned to knowing his effort was a false show of indulgence. "Rey, would you like desert? Tonight is a special night."

Her eyes met his impatiently. "What are you talking about, we never get desert. You have to fly tonight, you can't fly with desert in your stomach. You'll be green as a leaf when you land in Naboo."

"Rey, you take such good care of me. We're good together. Will you marry me?" Luke stared desperately at his young companion, holding his breath. Rey stared at him with stony composure. Finally she fell back in her chair, looking above him to find the necessary words.

"Luke, you know I was married before and that he died, but what you don't know is that I was tainted by a dark force." Her gaze returned to his, noticing his confusion. "We didn't do it right, and before we knew it it was over."

Luke waited for her to continue, and when she did not he stammered. "What do you mean, a dark force? What is it you're asking for?"

"Where's the ring? It's customary for a man to offer a ring of engagement when he proposes marriage to a woman." Luke spluttered in response, nonplussed. Rey, sensing he would have to be coached, offered a solution. "Your pinky ring will do."

Luke twisted the ring from his finger, his hands trembling in distinctive remorse over the loss. As his hand carried the valuable of the table, Rey's voice arrested him. "Aren't you going to kneel?"

"This is a nice suit!" He almost shouted, shocked at the idea.

"I know it is, I helped you pick it out, it comes with two pairs of pants!"

WIth a sigh, Luke slid ungainly to the floor and shuffled to Rey's side. "Rey, on my knees in front of all these people, will you consent to be my wife?"

Her face relaxed in a glow of satisfaction. "Yes Luke, I will marry you, I will be your wife."

The restaurant simmered into polite applause, eager to return to their meals after the strange disruption.

They drove in silence, Rey pondering over the details of the traditional wedding she was determined to enact in perfect fashion.

"Rey, you must do one thing for me. You must get my nephew to attend the wedding. Ten years is too long a time for estrangement in the family." His eyes teared up pathetically as he blubbered the request. "Promise me you will get Ben to come."

"Of course, I'll make sure Ben comes." She patted his leg softly. "Now, have a safe flight. I know you'll bring Madre Organa comfort in her final hours. When you come home," _'Once the old matriarch is dead,'_ "we'll get married."

Luke pulled out a handkerchief and blew his nose loudly. "Nothing can replace family, Rey!" And with that he pulled himself from her car, fading into the crowds of the terminal.

* * *

The next morning, Rey found herself at _Paneria Ren_ , asking a terse ginger man where she could find Ben Solo.

"You mean Kylo? What do you want with Kylo?" His superficial politeness faded into cautious hostility at the sound of the name Rey'd been given.

"I'd like to talk with him." Rey's hand rested on her hip as her posture slumped in exasperation.

The ginger scowled briefly before leaving the counter with brusque efficiency. Rey followed him out of the bakery, around the corner, and down into a musty cellar. It took a few moments, but once her eyes adjusted to the gloom she could see a few people massaging dough amidst the stifling heat of the kiln. "Kylo, someone here to speak with you."

Rey rolled her eyes at the guide before stepping forward. She took a guess, addressing the tall, broad chested man shoveling coal into the oven whom had refused to turn at their initial entrance. "I'm here on behalf of your uncle, who's getting married and would like you to come."

His movement stalled, and he appeared to be leaning on the wall for support. Once he turned, it was clear he'd been gathering his energy to respond. He hefted a large black face shield, likely intended to guard his face from the flames.

"Luke Skywalker is getting married? And he'd like me to come?" The man turned and Rey found herself distracted from her initial fear at his response by the surprise of his compelling features. He wasn't handsome by normal means, but his dark mane of hair brushed forward to complement stormy eyes and an old, red scar running from his eyebrow down to his cheekbone. "Well isn't that rich. And you are? The pretty thing he's marrying?"

Rey rose her chin. If this beast wanted a battle, she was ready. "Yes, once he's back from Naboo visiting Madre Organa we'll be married. Why aren't you in Naboo with Madre?" Ben, or Kylo, didn't appear to hear her question.

"Isn't that great. Luke is getting married. Well isn't that just _fucking peachy._ No, lady, I won't be coming. There's bad blood between me and Luke. I'd rather slit my throat. Armitage!" The ginger behind her gave a noticeable start at being addressed. "Bring me the saber!"

"No!" Armitage looked furious and teary eyed. "I won't do it!"

Rey watched the man shake, and turned back to Kylo bewildered. "What exactly is the bad blood between you and Luke?"

Kylo's body stilled, the tension building like the slow coil of a rattlesnake. "Luke taught me everything I know about bread. He was going to pass the business on to me, groomed me in every way. Then, I met a girl and got engaged. On the day before my wedding, Luke came to visit me and told me that my fiance was no good. We fought, and I came away with this scar." His chest heaved with furious panting, the old fury stoking his current tempest. "When my fiance saw the scar, she left me. I was too terrifying to work with the vendors, and I've been doomed to this hot hole in the ground ever since." His eyes returned from the distance of memory to bore down into Rey.

It took longer than she'd like to admit to regain her composure. "But, that's not Luke's fault-" It was apparently the wrong thing to say.

Kylo exploded. "I LOST MY FUTURE, I LOST MY BRIDE" his face was contorted, blotchy with the force of his rampage. He'd flung he loaves of finished bread within range across the basement. "LUKE has his future, LUKE has his bride, you want me to put away my pain and FORGET?"

Rey was transfixed by him. This man _burned_ with intensity in a way she had never thought possible. In a few moments, he deflated. His mumbled words were tough to catch, but something like 'a _man eventually realizes his life is built on nothing_.' Rey swallowed, and steadied herself. This man would come to her wedding, she couldn't afford to let this temper tantrum stop her from changing her luck.

"Listen, can we go somewhere and talk?" Kylo didn't respond, choosing instead to stare into the red embers of the oven. Rey huffed, grabbed his coat and extended her hand to him, waiting. He stared at the outstretched fingers for what seemed like an eternity before taking her hand and letting her shuffle him out of the cellar.

Kylo sat in his small kitchen at the familiar rickety table, still in a daze from the flood of anger that had overtaken him minutes before. Slowly he came to himself, seeing the woman dance between the refrigerator and the stovetop and smelling the rich fatty smell of a seared steak. "What are you doing?"

"You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"You'll eat it." Kylo stared at her shoulders, her hair in three buns down the back of her head. The beige silk of her blouse only barely disguised the lines of her bra and the shadow of her spine. It had been years since a woman had been within three feet of him, and he'd forgotten the sensation. His heartbeat sped up not with rage but with unbidden hunger.

His mouth was dry, but he licked his lips. "I like it well done."

"You'll eat it bloody to feed your blood." She spun and slammed the plate down in front of him. Her eyes glittered briefly before she huffed and cast her eyes around their surroundings. "You got a whiskey? I need a whiskey."

As she turned to rifle through his cupboards, finding a glass and his stash of liquor, Kylo voraciously tore into the steak. Once the meat touched his tongue he couldn't hold back. He moaned softly at the flavor, and felt the pleasure of it mix with the new sensation of having this woman meet his unsuspected need. She spun again, settling forcefully into the chair across from him, swigging the whiskey with vigor.

"So, why you wanna marry Luke? He's an old fool." He licked his lips again as he finished the steak, capturing the last drops of flavor. She didn't answer his question at first.

"I was married once, but we had bad luck and he died. This time, I'll do it right. How long has it been since you've had a woman?" He shrugged in response, the answer clearly more of a disappointment that he was comfortable voicing. "Stupid."

"Stupid yourself, waiting this long and choosing Luke. He'll disappoint you."

"You know what? I can see what you don't see. Luke didn't scar you and scare off your girl. You did it to yourself." Kylo's grip on the cutlery tightened.

"Stop it. What do you think you're saying."

"I'm telling you your life. You're a wolf. And you.. you gnawed off your nose to escape the wrong love." Her gestures became wild, erratic. "Now you're scared of what you'll do if you take that risk again, it's nothing to do with Luke."

Kylo was torn, both mesmerized by the blush that had started from her collar and slowly spread up her neck and to her cheeks once she'd formed the word 'wolf,' and furious that she'd dare absolve Luke. He slowly stood, the chair scraping against the linoleum and his hands gripping the edge of the table.

"I looked the wrong way and Luke almost sliced my face. The same could happen to you."

"I'll look where I need to look to be a bride and change my luck."

"You could be a bride without a head." His volume slowly rose, his tempo accelerating. Kylo couldn't stand the idea of this woman giving herself to a sterile, dispassionate life as Luke's bride. The temper and spark in her eyes should only be fed with fuel, encouraging the fire to burn long into the night.

She met his temper at equal pitch. " _A wolf without a nose_." Kylo snapped.

With a cacophonous crash, Kylo flung the table from between them. She sat stunned, holding her whiskey glass aloft and starring first at his torso and then meeting his eyes. Their dark expression woke the impulsive darkness within her heart. Rey jolted out of her reverie as he leaned forward, latching on to her waist to haul her from her seated position. The room blurred, and she flailed halfheartedly.

"What. a. MONSTER, you're a MONSTER!" Her tirade was cut short by Kylo claiming her lips. Heat crawled up her spine from the small of her back, his large hands following the shape of her torso with the single-minded focus of a potter at the wheel. Her own palms traced his biceps and shoulders, pausing as though mustering the strength to push him away. For a moment, she thought she might. Rey broke away to gasp, her lungs spasming and her rib cage tilted by supporting leverage of his arms.

Air alone was not enough to diffuse the new craving that had crawled out of her heart. Rey swallowed and tucked her chin, gazing into the crazed eyes of her new acquaintance. She fisted one hand into the nape of his neck, throwing the other down along the ridge of his spine. It brought her close again, but instead of claiming her lips Kylo watched them, his own twisting into a self-assured smile.

"What about Luke?"

Rey tightened her grip, shutting her eyes tightly. "What Luke doesn't know won't hurt him." She could feel Kylo's body shudder with laughter before her legs were suddenly swung into the air, supported in a bridal carry. The naive idea that she'd leave apartment never to speak of the kisses she'd shared with her soon-to-be relation flew out the window. "Fine, take me to the bed. Leave nothing left of me for him to find."

Kylo's eyes rested on the curve of her cheek, turned from him as he moved through the dingy studio apartment. Her skirt prevented the soft skin of her thigh from directly pressing into his forearm, but he could imagine it. A vision in the back of his mind pulsed, flashing scenes of her lithe body twisting in pleasure on the dishevelled sheets on his bed. Overcome, he tossed her onto the mattress and stood above her to stare, committing the sight to memory.

For a moment he'd thought he'd have to coax her to respond to his desperation in kind. He'd been wrong. Even as he towered over her she wound tight, her expression daring him to do _something, anything_. How could this woman have ever resigned herself to a docile future at the hands of his uncle? Kylo bent to the side, pulling off one sensible heel. He kneeled between her legs on the bed, dropped the shoe with an audible ' _thud'_. Rey let out a small noise of impatience and began to methodically release the buttons of her blouse. Kylo circled her ankles easily in each hand before trailing his hands up the silk of her legs.

Kylo's focus was entirely on his hands' progression, the way her skirt scrunched up around his wrists, until he felt the last fabric obscuring his goal. There he paused to gather his courage, looking to her for an intoxicating reminder that he was not alone in the tumult of their exchange.

She hadn't been breathing.

Her youthful and tragic romance with Finn had been sadly lacking in this particular chapter. Rey watched in disbelief that this monster would lead their encounter so deftly. She held her breath, afraid that the slightest sound would distract him from his trajectory. When he paused, her heart twisted in nervous tension, and then soared as she realized he was waiting for permission. She slowly hiked her skirt up in response.

Rey woke hours later, the light of moon uncommonly bright. She sat up, gathering a blanket around her bare shoulders and inhaled deeply. It was as though she had been walking a knife's edge, and that by jumping off of it she'd found solid ground. The warm hands which so forcefully shoved her into this moment caressed her back and thigh.

"You're not alone Rey, come back to me." She looked back at the mumbler, her eyes drooping in drowsy affection. His face, scarred and handsome, made the picture of contentment. His eye fluttered open and her continued distance. "Just you and me now." With that, Rey snuggled back into the warmth of his arms.

The harsh light of day cast a new perspective on their actions. Rey's eyes jolted open, and her stomach sank. "No, no no no no this c _an't be happening_." Just as Kylo groaned and rolled off the corner of the bed onto his knees, rubbing his eyes blearily, Rey tore into the closet and frantically dressed herself.

"Rey, Rey, what have you done to me?" Kylo moaned as he struggled to his feet. He lumbered to the closet, his face in a long unused expression of wistful longing.

"What have _I_ done to y _ou?_ " The door of the closet slammed open, nearly pinching his fingers in their fury. Rey wedged herself under the arms that bracketed the doorway, twisting into the kitchen and hopping from foot to foot as she attempted to fit her feet back into yesterday's heels.

"Rey I'm in love with you." At this, she froze.

"You're in love with me. No. No, this was a fluke, I'm marrying your uncle and you're coming to the wedding." Rey finished tucking her blouse into her sensible skirt, and began to check her makeup in the mottled bathroom mirror.

"You can't marry him, didn't you hear me, I love you." He appeared in the reflection, his face still soft, dopey, wheedling.

"Fine, you're uninvited. Don't come." She poked at the welts on her neck. _'These need to go.'_ After casting her gaze around the room, she found a scarf and snatched it.

"Oh, I'm coming." Kylo's gaze began to harden, displeased as the markers of their night together were so swiftly hidden. He followed her to the door of the apartment, leaning on it as she tugged the handle. "Okay okay, I'll stay away on one condition." At this she paused, waiting. "One night out. We'll go to dinner and a show, and I'll have one night with what I love.

* * *

Luke grovelled at his sister's side.

Leia sat up abruptly. "Wait you said you're getting married?"

Luke looked up at her abruptly, his face red and puffy from crying. "Leia, you mustn't worry yourself, you aren't well."

"You're getting married?! You can't get married. I feel it in my bones, Luke." She poked furiously at her collar bone in demonstration. "I put a curse on this marriage, this marriage will not proceed so long as I have air in my lungs."

The woman, one minute grey and frail and the next spry, jumped from the bed to dress. "I feel it in my bones, this woman is not for you Luke. You have your sister." She mumbled frantically as she dressed, and soared from the room. Luke, still on his knees at her bedside, blinked.

"It's a miracle." With one last expression of gratitude to the force of the universe, he rose.

* * *

Rey ran into Maz on her way home. She supposed it wasn't a surprise, she had stopped in their store to pick up chewing gum and coffee. Chewy was singing loudly in the back of the deli, Maz scanned her young friend.

"What's with the scarf, it's springtime, you hiding a lovebite or something?" Rey's eyes went wide, and stared at the gum rack.

"I was cold, so I wore a scarf. Don't worry so much about fashion Maz." Maz waved as though brushing the comment aside.

"Say, have you heard the good news? Luke's been calling here for you. He says there's been a miracle and Leia's coming home from Naboo." Rey stopped fishing in her purse for change, her hand moving to the counter for support.

"She was dying. What do you mean she's moving home from Naboo?" Rey's face went pale. It was one thing to expect Luke not to ask questions when Ben - Kylo chose not to attend their wedding. Leia, outside of bedrest, would be near impossible to fool.

* * *

Kylo held her close as they walked through the neighborhood from the restaurant. Rey could feel the night coming to a close, and she pulled away hoping distance would make her next subject easier to broach.

"Listen, your mother is coming home from Naboo with Luke. If you don't come to the wedding, she'll just keep asking until she figures out why. You need to come, and you need to be civil."

Kylo's hand gripped her arm, forcing her to stop. Flustered, she cast her eyes anywhere other than his face and noticed something peculiar. "This is your block, you've taken me to your place." Rey looked back at him finally, accusatory. "This wasn't the deal Kylo. I came out with you, and you were gonna let me go. I need to find my place in this, and it's with Luke."

She hadn't said five words before he started shaking his head, refusing to hear. "You think you want what that life is going to be, but I'll tell you something. You may think I'm dark, but that don't make you light. Life isn't black and white - it's messy and grey and we're _nobody_. But you're somebody to me. And I'm somebody to you whether you admit it or not." Rey began to cry tears of frustration.

"You're just talking gibberish, you're not making any sense."

He tugged her shoulders close and kissed her, stealing as much of the air from her body as he could imagine possible. "Come upstairs."

She pulled away. "No." Rey walked home, aware of his stare resting on her back. She opened the door to her loft, listlessly laid on the couch, and fell asleep staring at the shadows from the moonlight through her blinds.

The next morning, she awoke to the sound of someone pounding on her door.

"Maz, what are you doing here this early?"

"Somebody had to warn you child, Organa is on her way and she don't look happy."

More pounding. Through the door spilled Luke & Leia, looking sheepish and enraged in turn.

Luke mumbled something about breaking off the engagement. The pinky ring bounced off of the floor with force with which it was thrown.

A bang noise as the front door hit the wall, having been left open enough for free entry. Kylo stood in the kitchen having pushed through his mother and uncle. "Rey, will you marry me?"

Rey paused, watching the horrified reactions play over Luke & Leia's faces. Maz patted Leia's shoulder as though to comfort her, while sporting a wry smirk.

And Rey began to laugh. "Do you have a ring?"


End file.
